July 21st, 2004

Arwen and Fizz

Good Morning

Good morning everybun.

I thought that it was time that I gave you some of my wit and wisdom (see how generous I am?). I have been considering 2-foots and their relationship with each other.

2-foots are amusing creatures. True, they are of very low intelligence, and don't always realise what the important things in life are, i.e. A nice carrot, the odd treat stick, eating your own poo, but nevertheless, they can be very rewarding to watch.

I would always recommend keeping a bonded pair, although you should be aware, 2-foots rarely mate for life, and you should be prepared to mix and match where necessary to achieve the best bond for the longest possible period. Also, 2-foots never seem to establish who is the dominant partner. they will both behave like each of them is in charge, and then every so often when one of them can't get their own way, they sulk. This is a very funny thing to watch, as what is already a stupid animal get's even sillier, they will say stupid things to each other in loud voices, and then after a while, it will be like it never happened, I think it's some kind of ritual they have to go through.

Another thing they do (especially the does) is to spend lots of time covering themselves up. Instead of just having one set of things to cover themselves up that can be kept handy, ours have ROOMFULL'S of stuff, so they can never decide which ones to use! Our doe (the one with the fur on the top of her head), even goes so far as to put stuff on her face to try to cover it up. Maybe it's so nobody will recognise her?

The buck is even more stupid. Even though he has no fur on the top of his head, fur grows on his face, so wat does he do? HE SCRAPES IT OFF!!! We laugh ourselves stupid watching him!

Then we have their eating and sleeping habits. The food they eat IS DISGUSTING instead of eating it all nice and fresh like we do, they BURN IT FIRST! sometimes, me and Flopsy Girl can't eat our own food because we are laughing so much. Then they run around doing nothing in particular for a couple of hours before sitting down in front of the light up box, where they promptly fall asleep for an hour or two, now you would think that would be long enough for any creature, but not a 2-foot, oh no, they wake up, do a bit more running around, one of them cleans out our litter tray, and then they go upstairs to go to sleep again SOMETIMES FOR AS LONG AS 5 HOURS! This of course give me and Flopsy Girl lot's of time to do all the things we want to do like dig the carpet, poo in their shoes, chew the books & magazines, and all the other things they seem to object to without interference, so it's not a bad thing.

In the morning they wake up, run around like maniacs, see to our needs (of course) and then the whole business starts again.

If you take my advice, if you don't already have one, then get yourself a bonded pair of 2-foots. They will provide HOURS of entertainment.
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