I'm worried about Flopsy Girl.... No I really am. She said to me yesterday, "Dandy, I think it's time I went in for some self improvement. I'm going to study Phil Ossiffy".

This is worrying. Who is this Phil Ossiffy? does she fancy him? am I going to have to fight for my best girl?

I thought we had an idillic relationship..... I thought I was all she wanted... Where did I go wrong.... WAHHHHHH